Living With a Mentally Unstable Person

We’ve been all over the place about mental health issues. All over Tumblr. Everywhere. How these people suffer. How hard it is to live with depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, autism, being bipolar, being suicidal, etc…

We’ve been over this. The internet have heard their cries. Cries… In vain?

Yes. Spreading awareness.

Awareness of what? That people suffer? Okay… Well isn’t that shitty. They do suffer. We’ve heard it. Not cool.

But… What’s the plan? How do we help? What do we do? All these Tumblr posts about what it is to live with mental health issues, but none about what to do to help yourself or someone. When these posts actually exist, they’re either full of clichés, or full of stuff that will probably not work on an ACTUAL person.

There is two possible scenarios here :

Scenario 1 : People love to whine, but do nothing to help themselves

Scenario 2 : There is actually nothing to do about it.

Scenario 1 is highly likely, considering tumblr’s community’s tendancy to victimisation (See : Tumblr’s feminism, the gender/sexual orientation debate, etc)

Scenario 2 would mean that either a psychologist’s work is ultimately based on nothing, or that they don’t share their tricks.

I haven’t studied in psychology, therefore I cannot judge the whole field. I want to think that studies that can take something like 6 years are not filled with gray areas all the time.

If they don’t share their tricks, assumably to make more profit, it is disgusting. People should not need money to heal themselves. This is coming from someone who is very right-wing. The reason for that is that if people are broken, physically or mentally, they can’t work. If they can’t work, how are they supposed to have the means to pay? I’m all for working to get what you want, but this isn’t a case of being lazy. It’s about being unable to work.

Anyway, less about economic politics, more about mental health. So here it is and here follows : a blog post about someone completely mentally and physically healthy, complaining about accesse to mental health support. I don’t need it. But I’ve been living with someone who does. Badly. Is this creating bias on my side? Most likely. Do I care? Not at all.

Story time : Ever been raped? Ever been hit by someone you love(d)? Ever been abandoned by your parents? Ever been publicly shamed? Bullied? All of these are valid explanations to someone : self-harming, attempting suicide, being inclined to violence, having panic attacks or suffering from a bunch of different mental health problems.

Now imagine you’re someone who lived all these situations and have all these results. Shitty isn’t it? This person deserved nothing of it.

Now imagine you fall in love with that person, or that person is your sibling, your parent, or your friend. Wouldn’t you want to help them? That’s my situation. 

Okay google : how to support someone with [insert mental illness here]. What do you get? Clichés after clichés. “Be there for them”, basically. Okay cool… Now what? I’ve done it all. It helps? Nah. It sustains. Something like a security guard, in case the person has a rush to kill themselves. But they don’t heal. So it doesn’t help, technically.

Tumblr posts are all about “what not to say to someone with depression” like “it’s all in your head”. But there’s never anything about “what to say”. What will make them feel better? That’s a psychologist’s job, I get it. Too hard to understand for someone not in the field?. But what is to do when the person has no access to the psychologist, or does not want to see one because they’re afraid they won’t trust them, or the person has social anxiety, and are too afraid to meet someone new or go in a place full of people. What to do when you’re basically the only thing that can stop someone from killing themselves, but can’t act to help that person not want to do it. I’m not even going to begin on how powerless this can make us feel, especially if you care a lot about that person. I really, really would like to end this with some actual, working psychological techniques to cure someone of their many illnesses, but I know nothing about it. And that’s the problem. I can learn. But where is the info? Is it learned by experience?

With the drastically increasing number of mental health cases, it’s time we told people what to do. Tell the victims and the sick what to do to help themselves, DIY therapies, and tell the supporting people what to do to help others, what to say when the person is having an anxiety attack, how to act.

If it’s just me, and the info really is available (AVOID. CLICHÉS.), Don’t hesitate to comment below, or share this article until someone who knows can help me.

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